I thought I was getting better when the thoughts of suicide seemed to go away. I
was wrong. For a while my feelings were just sort of flat, never happy but not as
depressing as they had been. For months now I have been isolating myself
more and more, now I don’t talk to anyone. I am having a hard time understanding why.
In my mind I believe I would like to go out to eat, or go see a movie, or just a walk
in the park. It seems like I miss doing those things. I thought I was starting to
get a hold on some of my issues, but now it seems like I am worse off now than
I have ever been, except for suicide being off the table for now.
I know that I have the answers somewhere inside my mind, but I haven’t found
them yet and I can’t tell if I have given up searching for them. No one else has
the answers and I doubt if anyone can help me.